


The Things We Hide

by moarmybee



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Beomgyu is worried, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I'm new here please bear with me, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Past, This was supposed to be a 100 chapter fanfic on Wit, i honestly don't know what else to put
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28975476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moarmybee/pseuds/moarmybee
Summary: There's so much more to HueningKai and Beomgyu than meets the eye. Some people see it, most people don't. But all that matters to the two boys is that they've gone through a lot together and it doesn't matter who notices or not. At least they know what's real.orBeomgyu is worried when Kai doesn't come home early.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	The Things We Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my very first time using Archive of Our Own and I wanted to contribute to the BeomKai tag. Did you know there are more fanfics of Doofenschmirtz/Perry the Platypus than BeomKai?
> 
> Anyway, I've written fanfics a long time gao for various fandoms and I'd say they went pretty well so I hope you guys enjoy this oneshot! 
> 
> Also, I hope you guys can tell the difference between fiction and reality because some of the moments I mentioned are true and some are not. I just happen to watch a lot of TXT videos so i've got some knowledge about stuff they do :'D

January 7, 2021.

A week has passed since the new year but nothing feels new though. They’re still working themselves to the bone. Soobin was still MCing at Music Bank, Yeonjun and Kai were still at the studio, and Beomgyu was home alone with Taehyun who was in the showers. Beomgyu was still waiting for his turn as he stared outside the window. It was snowing quite a lot outside.

Taehyun finally came out of the bathroom in his pajamas, droplets of water were dripping from his blonde hair. Beomgyu took his towel and went right in. In the shower, the warmth of the water hit his body as he thought to himself. He hoped his hyungs and Kai would come home safely…it wasn't snowing that much but Beomgyu cared about his members' wellbeing. 

Once his shower was over, Beomgyu came out in a white shirt and black shorts, a smaller towel wrapped around his neck. He found Taehyun sitting down at the dining table, on his phone, scrolling and switching through what seemed like Weverse and Twitter. Beomgyu noticed he seemed to be active there quite often.

“Anything interesting?” Beomgyu asked, going to stay beside Taehyun.

The blonde shrugged. “Well, there’s shippers again.”

Ah, yes. The shippers.

The members of TXT knew all about them. Heck, what K-pop group didn’t know about their own shippers? Their BTS sunbaenims warned about them when they’d finally debuted. Beomgyu knew about the fanfics, the Youtube analysts, and fanart from way before. He didn’t mind that he was shipped with Yeonjun hyung, Soobin hyung, or Taehyun. It was inevitable. He just didn’t like that there weren’t many people who shipped him and Kai.

When they were trainees, Beomgyu and the younger boy did a lot of stuff together. They ate out, played games, they helped each other get to the advanced dance class. They were so close but both knew they were too shy to show it on camera. Despite being the loud moodmakers that everyone knew them by, they were still a bit introverted and used to be very quiet. So, no one really saw past the video clips that BigHit would show.

The “Tom and Jerry” duo. That’s what people saw them as, but no one knew that there was so much more between them. Granted, Beomgyu hasn’t really shown much of his affectionate side to Kai, compared to Soobin. He remembered when he’d scolded Kai during their debut showcase in the States. That must have been a very off-putting moment for them. Yes, Kai didn’t take it to heart, and he’d even praised his hyung for reminding him to memorize his lines. Beomgyu was relieved when he’d been forgiven. But I guess those who watched OneDream.TXT only saw Beomgyu being cranky towards the youngest member. It was difficult to see other affectionate times they had together.

“Nothing new then,” Beomgyu finally replied.

No, it's nothing new, but it is something to ponder on. There’s hardly any new content of BeomKai. Did people really think they were uncomfortable together? 

No, some people were just blind. They were far from uncomfortable. As they’ve grown over the years, Beomgyu and Kai tried to show it.

During an episode of Talk x Today, Beomgyu won him a dog plushie. He remembered thinking how much he loved seeing Kai with plushies, and seeing his reaction when Beomgyu played with him. Kai loved that toy for a while. He liked the gifts Beomgyu gave him. On the older boy’s birthday, when he won a mint-green Molang that Kai wanted, he gave it to him instead. Of course the youngest member was very grateful and even bought matching pajamas for it. Beomgyu liked to give Kai things he liked, like hoodies and plushies. Kai gave very cute reactions when the older played with his things or shared his clothes. How could they be uncomfortable with each other?

Beomgyu sat beside Taehyun and brought his own phone out. They both liked to looked through social media platforms, sharing memes to each other and such to their group chat with the others.

Twitter and Instagram was where most of the shippers were. He used to be annoyed about them. Who wouldn’t be?

Beomgyu liked hanging out with Kai. There were just times when Kai was hanging out with others and that was ship content being fed to the fans. One time, it was revealed that after an invitation from his parents to have barbecue, only Soobin went because the other members were busy. No one revealed that Beomgyu was the only one who tried to make it up to him by showing up unexpectedly the next day. Kai was surprised, wondering what he was doing there, but he’d just been grateful. They spent the day playing video games and Kai’s plushies. It was little things like these that they didn’t tell anyone. It was the little things they kept to themselves.

They liked surprising each other. Beomgyu still remembers when Kai surprised him with roses and macarons. The thought made him smile now. It was supposed to be a secret - they liked keeping secrets - but I guess it was alright if the whole world knew now. Still, he couldn’t believe Soobin had exposed them like that that day. Even though he knew very well…

Speak of the devil, the blue-haired leader of TXT enters their dorm, still dressed in his red prince costume.

“Hello,” he greeted.

“Welcome home,” Beomgyu greeted.

”Good job on Music Bank today, hyung,” Taehyun said.

Soobin smiled at the younger, and Taehyun smiled back. Yeah, keeping secrets ran in the group.

When the leader met Beomgyu’s eyes, he almost instantly understood and said, ”Yeonjun’s doing Essence of Dance and Huening is stuck at the studio.”

Beomgyu nodded gratefully.

They always worked hard and always looked after each other. Shippers were no problem when MOAs always supported them anyway. They worked hard for MOAs that loved them. Both Beomgyu, Kai, and everyone else knew that. Their job as idols was always the top priority. When they won their first rookie award, Beomgyu had cried so hard, along with Soobin and Taehyun. Kai had hugged them all but he hugged his Beomgyu hyung the longest. (They of course hugged and cried with Yeonjun once they visited him at the hospital that day.)

Soobin didn’t take long in the shower. He came out wearing pajamas and went to his room. Taehyun also got up and followed his hyung, leaving Beomgyu sitting alone in the kitchen until he finally decided to cook some ramen.

Half an hour later, the ramen is finished. Almost an hour later however, Beomgyu still hasn’t finished it. In fact, the ramen went cold. It was 11:10pm. Neither Kai nor Yeonjun hyung were home yet--

The oldest TXT member finally entered the dorm and Beomgyu perked up hopefully. He couldn’t hide his disappointment when it was only his hyung. “Welcome home,” he still said.

Yeonjun waved a little, shrugged off his coat, and took his mask off. “Kai might be a little late.”

“A little?! It’s almost midnight!”

“He’ll be home soon, he specifically told me to tell you not to worry.”

Beomgyu just scoffed. They usually overworked themselves. Kai knew Beomgyu liked to, but Beomgyu didn’t like it when Kai did. 

“He’s an adult now, Gyu. You can’t stop treating him like your baby.”

“But he is.”

Yeonjun shrugged and smirked as he headed for the bathroom. “Point taken.”

Everyone found Hueningkai cute. Everyone loved Kai, especially MOAs. Beomgyu always found him utterly adorable, back when they were still around the same height, but somehow he only really started to notice them around the Dream Chapter: Magic era when Kai grew a few centimeters and his hair was a bit longer and fluffier. Whenever he saw the maknae, he always got butterflies in his stomach and at the time, he didn’t know why. All Beomgyu knew was that Kai looked so handsome, he’d really grown to be so gorgeous. Of course he was annoyed Kai was taller than him now, but he had to admit he liked it when his big strong arms were wrapped around him every time they hugged. His dolphin-like laughter was like music to his ears, and he always found himself longing for his sunshine smile. Beomgyu liked when his chocolate brown orbs always met with his own, but he always looked away subtly and quickly to hide the fact that he was shy.

The day they played their acoustic duet of “Our Summer” on the JTBC show was when Beomgyu really started to realize his feelings. In fact, he’d realized he’d liked Kai even way before. He was always so gentle with the boy, thinking he was fragile and even now he thought so despite the younger being much more built. He was so concerned whenever Kai had to face anything that triggered his acrophobia, and he did whatever he could to prevent the younger from getting hurt. He teased him and played (stole-) with his plushies, but only because he wanted his attention - damn the gumdakjji label with Soobin, it’s like they hardly noticed the others were there - and Kai was always attentive to him. He loved Kai’s passion for music, especially that one time when the other members were dragged around to complete Kai’s wish to re-enact music scenes from this movie he liked. Kai was very admirable in general, and that may have been why Beomgyu started falling for him.

That day, Beomgyu knew he liked the maknae so so much. He was therefore surprised when Kai confessed to him first, after the show.

“I’ve always liked you, hyung.” Kai had asked Beomgyu to get drinks with him at the vending machine, and after they finally got away from the cameras and the others, he just blurted it out. “I-I can’t hold it back anymore... I just wanted to l-let you know… I really love the way y-you care for me, I appreciate o-our time hanging out together, I actually like it w-when you tease me and you’re just s-so cute when I tease you back… You’re so kind and y-you’ve always been there for me and I guess that’s why I s-started to fall for you…”

Kai didn’t usually stutter. Seeing him ramble like this was very rare, which is why Beomgyu knew his feelings were real. Hearing his words made the tips of his ears red, and te older didn’t know whether to feel happy or disappointed. 

“You dummy,” he said, cupping the maknae’s face with his hands. “I was going to confess first.”

Small tears prickled the corner of Kai’s brown eyes. “W-What?”

“You’re so precious, Huening. You’re more than just a friend to me, too. Yeah you’re cute and you know that too well but you just don’t know how  _ adorable  _ you can be. You’re so beautiful inside and out. You know how to deal with all the negativity and I admire that about you. I like everything about you, a lot.”

“R-Really?” 

“Yes, really.”

“Hyung…”

Kai’s lips stretched into the cheery smile Beomgyu loved so much. He couldn’t help himself. He kissed Kai right then and there, and the world was full of light as he kissed back. His lips were soft, he tasted like grape juice, and he was everything Beomgyu could ever want. 

“Kai-ah, I love you.”

“I love you too, Beomgyu hyung…”

They were so in love and they both knew it. That’s why it hurt when they weren’t allowed to show it.

“Fanservice is one thing, but you can’t let people know you’re really dating.”

Bang PD-nim wasn’t exactly happy as the five members stood at the center of his office, with Kai and Beomgyu’s hands intertwined. You could cut the tension with a knife. Soobin, Taehyun, and Yeonjun were hanging their heads, Kai was nervous and looking like he wanted to say something, but Beomgyu was the only one speaking while he was seething with anger.

“So you’re saying Kai and I can be all cute and be ourselves with the others but not to each other?!”

“You signed a contract. You know what it’s like for Kpop idols in general. This is for your own good, for your own safety. You have no choice but to follow.”

The Beomgyu now tightened his grip on his chopsticks. Thinking about that day always gave him bad feelings.

Yeonjun came out of the shower after a long while, and he plucked the chopsticks out of Beomgyu’s hand. “You’re doing it again.”

“Sorry.”

The pink-haired idol began slurping the leftover ramen noodles and soup, to which the younger chuckled. Beomgyu and Kai’s relationship had to be kept secret but they were thankful to the other three for supporting them and still loving them unconditionally. The BigHit staff may have been alright with occasional moments, but when it came down to it, they were always there to make sure nothing major happened on camera for everyone to see.

“You should cook Kai some ramen too,” Yeonjun noted. “This is good.”

The black-haired boy shrugged. “It’s just instant noodles.” He looked over at the clock. It was 11:50pm. Almost midnight. “I guess I will, then.”

Yeonjun stood up, patted the younger’s head, and gave a cheeky grin. “You’re an adorable boyfriend Beomgyu. Bu really, try not to worry too much. You know how things are.”

The oldest member retreated to his room, and Beomgyu went to work on cooking another pack of ramen.

In many ways they still showed their love for one another. The two boys always hid their emotions, even their reactions, from the public. But at the end of the day, they always had their mini dates at home, long talks over takeout dinners, occasional walks together, etc. They did their best to find time for each other, to make up for the moments they couldn’t have when they were with others.

From time to time when they were on camera, they said what they wanted to say too. Beomgyu would compliment his humor, his good looks, his ability to make anyone smile just by being him. Kai would show his gratitude for his hyung, especially at the time when Beomgyu sacrificed himself to do the tomato scene instead of Kai. Beomgyu would fix his hair, Kai would praise his hyung, they continued to support each other and tease each other at the same time (they were the dumber and dumbest of the group after all)… And no one suspected any of it. 

When quarantine hit, of course TXT was upset. There were cancelled concerts and plans, anxiety and stress doubled, and everyone was generally a mess. However, for Beomgyu and Kai, at least for that time they enjoyed being able to be themselves a little more than usual. 

A few months ago, they celebrated their first anniversary. Beomgyu gave Kai a new hoodie, Kai got him a new Ryan plushie, and they gave each other the promise for more anniversaries to come.

  
  


12:25am. After the new ramen was cooked, Kai finally arrived home. He looked so exhausted as he took his mask and jacket off. He sprayed himself with alcohol before entering the kitchen. “I’m home…”

“Kai-ah?”

“Beomgyu-hyung I’m sorry I’m late, I’m sorry if you were worried--”

“I know you’re hungry. I made you food.”

The younger blinked and smiled. Beomgyu can be a big worrywart when it came to Kai. But I suppose over the years they just learned and grew. 

As Beomgyu transferred the noodles and soup into a big bowl, Kai hugged him from behind and gave a belly rub. He would usually tell people that Beomgyu was his least favorite member in giving belly rubs, but the two both knew his real preference. “Thanks for cooking hyung~”

The older boy grinned and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek. “Take a shower you big baby. Before the soup gets cold.”

Over time, they wrote songs to express their feelings. When they first started dating, “Roller Coaster” suddenly had a whole new meaning for Beomgyu, especially since Kai helped write it. Beomgyu was in charge of writing "Maze in the Mirror", and it’s mainly supposed to express their pains as trainees, but a small part of it expressed another pain for Beomgyu. Kai helped write "Wishlist" with the inspiration of not knowing what to get Beomgyu that first Christmas they had as a couple (in the end, he’d settled for a photo album he made himself and Beomgyu still keeps it to this day). As idols, music meant everything. They subtly hinted their feelings in the songs they helped write, and they wrote songs together to cope with their secrets.

Admittedly, they were sometimes jealous. Beomgyu mentioned before that he was annoyed at some shippers. A common ship was SooKai, which was understandable since they were best friends and Soobin was just  _ such  _ a gum to his boyfriend. One time after they’d recorded a video for “We Lost the Summer”, Kai came home to his hyung at the door, his arms crossed and a dangerous smile across his adorable face. “Welcome home, cheater” was all he said. The anger dissipated quickly as Kai promised cuddles and kisses for the rest of the night.

A common ship was Taegyu too, and Beomgyu was surprised to find out one day Kai was all pouty and silent. The older then realized he’d discovered fanfiction. This made the maknae seem even more adorable than he already was - if that’s possible - and Beomgyu cupped his face - Kai loves it when Beomgyu does that - and whispered, “Love, that's just fake. You are my reality, and you're the only one for me.”

It’s normal for them to look for BeomKai fanfics every once in a while. There were many nice ones and very creative AUs, and they found delight in their MOAs’ creativity. “Hyung, here’s a oneshot that seems similar to our life,” Kai pointed out one night as he showed his phone, his head leaning on Beomgyu’s shoulder.

The older scrolled through the story and smirked a bit. “They’re almost spot on.” He quickly kissed Kai’s forehead as he returned the phone. “These words can never truly express the love I have for you though.”

“Awww hyung…”

One time, while they were practicing "Fairy of Shampoo", Kai made a mistake in the choreo and Beomgyu chased him down for it. Everyone thought they were being playful and the older boy was going to punish the younger. But once they were past the cameras line of sight, they found the opportunity to sneak in some kisses. They always tried to find opportunities.

Of course every couple had their bad sides too, and Beomgyu and HueningKai sometimes tried to make the other jealous. Kai once let Soobin sit on his lap, Beomgyu once told Taehyun to put his arms around him at the pottery place. One time Beomgyu put his head on Taehyun’s leg during a Vlive and Kai moved away from them. Another time, Kai sent flying kisses to Soobin even though he knew Beomgyu was watching. Of course in the end they’d only meant to tease. But if course when it got out of hand, they talked about it. In the end, their only intentions was to do it for the camera.

It has always been that way.

Kai was quick to come out of the shower. He ate the ramen and Beomgyu watched him. He was adorable when he ate, and everyone would agree he was adorable at everything but Beomgyu liked to take in his everything. His soft brown hair, his glistening chocolate orbs, his orange-scented perfume, his beautiful lips pulled into his wonderful smile... “How was your day?” the older asked.

The maknae smiled and proceeded to ramble on.

It was always like that. Subtle moments, subtle expressions of love. Asking how their day went, asking if they wanted a bite of their food. Beomgyu would fix Kai’s hair, Kai would hold down Beomgyu’s crop top. They sometimes let each other win at games, they sometimes patted each other on their shoulder, back, head, arm, as if to say “It’s okay, we’re okay, I love you, don’t forget.”

That’s what their love is like. Always has been, and may continue to be for a very long time.

After they chatted they agreed that it was way too late and both of them just wanted to sleep. Taehyun was still with Soobin in his and Beomgyu’s room, so the couple retreated to the Tyunning bedroom, where they cuddled on Kai’s bed. Some plushies were scattered so Beomgyu took the mint green Molang Kai had and hugged it. The younger boy insisted that since he won it, it’s still Beomgyu’s so they agreed to share it. He positioned himself between Kai so that the bigger maknae wrapped his arms around his hyung’s waist. “My favorite plushie~” he sang.

“Shut up,” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same. They stayed like that for a long while. It was nearly 1:30 am now.

Yes, Beomgyu and Kai were upset that they don’t get to show the world their love but one day, they will. They were even bold sometimes, like when Kai picked Beomgyu as the most romantic of the group, or when Beomgyu let Kai sit on his lap during a Vlive. Or when Beomgyu leaned his head on HueningKai’s shoulder during one Secret Friend of Idols episode, or when Kai offered to kiss Beomgyu at Lotte World (Beomgyu thought he’d lose it then and there but they managed to maintain their act. The older got his kiss when they got home). They also liked to tease the MOAs that  _ did  _ ship them, and refused to upload any of their selcas. It’s not that they had a shortage of it, they just liked keeping their memories to themselves.

The couple rarely get jealous anymore, they learned to live with the constant fanservice with the other members, and the other three knew how much they loved each other. It was a love so strong that it couldn’t be broken or deterred by a silly rule their company made them follow. Their determination to keep their relationship alive was very admirable, and they knew their patience would be tested because they still had many years as idols. Both Beomgyu and Kai felt like they could handle it though. They were doing so well so far.

“It’s almost going to be two years since our introduction film,” Beomgyu pointed out.

“Oh yeah… Two years with TXT.”

“Two years being an idol with you… please don’t try to stay out past midnight again.”

“I’ll try not to hyung, if you promise the same.”

“Hmmm I’ll try.”

“Hyung!”

“Kidding!”

“I mean it…remember that one time you were sad during Blue Hour promotions? You need more rest and try not to overthink again… I hate to see you that way.”

“Hah...you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“I care about you too much, hyung.”

“Same with you. You know that.”

“Yeah.”

“Kai-ah?”

“Hm?”

“You’re...you’re okay right?”

“With what, hyung?”

“You know…”

“Yes, hyung. We’re used to it by now aren’t we?”

“I’m just checking...if you want anything more than this…”

Kai tilted his boyfriend’s head so his eyes met his. After a long and longing stare, he kissed his Beomgyu, and they melted into each other. Like always, everything felt just right. “You are all I could ever want.”

Beomgyu rested his head against Kai’s chest and the younger hugged him tighter. “I love you so much, Ning.”

“I love you too, Gyu-hyung.”

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Of course, love.”

People didn’t think they were real. But they knew better. They always knew. 

And that was enough.  
  


* * *

“Huening?”

The brown-haired boy’s eyes fluttered open and he saw his roommate's blonde hair glint under the room light. Taehyun was staring down at him, a small smile on his lips. Beomgyu was still asleep, all curled up with his arm around Kai’s waist. The maknae fixed himself as he sat up, careful not to wake his hyung. 

“What is it, Hyun?”

“Breakfast is ready. You and Beomgyu hyung should get a move on.”

“Thanks, Taehyun.”

As the blonde boy left, Beomgyu actually woke up and yawned as he stirred a bit. “Good morning sleepyhead,” Kai teased.

“What do you have to do today?”

“Oh, you know. More work.”

Beomgyu groaned loudly and hugged the maknae's waist. “Please come home early so we can cuddle longer.”

Kai laughed. “Of course love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! Thanks for taking the time to read this oneshot! Big surprise, I don't really ship anyone in TXT but I wrote this as a gift for my little sister. I love TXT so much and Beomkai is the cutest ship for me so I did this, since she ships it.
> 
> Also yes, this was originally supposed to be a long chaptered fanfic on an app called Wit but it got reduced to this oneshot on AO3. It's simpler and less stressful for me that way hehe.
> 
> Tell me if you guys want me to write more! I do appreciate comments. I can try to further write about the things they hide, shorter oneshots about their little moments. I'll do it with the right inspiration uwu
> 
> I also have a fanart acc on Twt and Ig: @moarmybee (go follow me!)


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